UNLESS YOU ARE SCARED,YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO GROW

Yes! Fear could be scary. When we face it,we are wired to run.We want to avoid it.We consider it a bad thing.But,let me tell you, it is not true.In my mind,fear is splendid.It is an opportunity given to us. In fact, it is a gift!
On the other side of every fear that is keeping you small is your natural power and your true greatness. If you try to run away from your fear,it tantamount to running from the brilliance you were meant to be. A fear is nothing more than a doorway into the highest version of your highest vision. The things that scare you are spectacular opportunities to discover more of all you are meant to be. Trust me! Fear is not bad. It is in fact Superb! It leads to confidence,if you do what you fear.It leads to self-respect.It promotes growth.It makes you better.
So today, at work or at home, if something comes up that makes you feel like running, avoiding or even resisting, don’t make a beeline for the door. you should instead show up like the leader you truly can be and embrace the opportunity you have been presented.Because WHAT YOU RESIST WILL PERSIST.BUT WHAT YOU BEFRIEND, YOU WILL TRANSCEND.

MESSAGE 

TREAT FEAR AS GROWTH

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SAY GOOD-BYE TO DIVORCE AND STOP JUMPING FROM ONE FRY PAN TO ANOTHER FRY PAN!!

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and commitment should not be broken!!

Yes, i mean it !! Either you don’t marry and if you marry you have to accept and live with its greener and grey pastures as well. It cannot be a marriage of your convenience. Unfortunately the sanctity of this institution is losing its meaning very fast. Divorces are increasing by leaps and bounds. As a matter of fact, a recent survey on latest divorce cases indicates that it has increased 13 times in the last 5-10 years. In other words, marriage is now becoming a matter of convenience. Relations are breaking at the drop of the hat.

In the hope of a happy married life, people are jumping from ‘ONE-FRY-PAN’ to ANOTHER. They are running after a desert ‘MIRAGE’ which does not exist. They think divorcing one partner will bring happiness from a second or third partner. But it is the same never ending dissatisfaction in their first, second or third marriage. Well, there may be a few exceptions, but by and large, mostly people are unhappy in their married life. Otherwise, why the number of divorces have gone so high!! Think!

If you ask me the number of divorces have gone up so high primarily due to three reasons: People lack PATIENCE, have very high expectations from each other and do not have the right type of thinking. We take things for granted. I can tell you with conviction that if you lack in these areas, you may divorce and marry 100 times but you can never have a happy married life, because the fundamental rules and realities of a married life does not change with changing partners.

Part of the value i hope to add to you is to be a catalyst for positive changes in your married life. To gently push, move and challenge you to get better. To grow more.

To be great- REGARDLESS OF YOUR CURRENT REALITY.

Here are 10 challenges i offer:

  • Be Patient
  • Have balanced expectations from each other
  • Have rational thinking
  • Control your impulsive anger
  • Trust each other
  • Communicate with each other
  • Respect each other
  • Be transparent in financial matters
  • Lead a happy sex life
  • Keep away from extra-marital affairs

Having said this, i would also like to add that if you think you cannot control forces as mentioned above and you are in a very uncontrollable situation, you are free to take the final call.

MESSAGE

PAUSE, THINK AND ACT.

If you are still unmarried, you may please forward this post’s link to your near and dear married person.

 

WHEN I SAID TO MYSELF – ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, IT GAVE ME POWER TO QUIT A 10 YEARS ADDICTION.

Don’t feel offended if somebody humiliates you. Like mine, It can change your life forever and for better. Offer your gratitude to them who have used harsh words for you because it can be a boon in disguise and as it happened with me a couple of years ago.

It is said that you quit a habit either when It is a question of your life and death  or when you are humiliated and deeply hurt in your mind. I would like to share with you two such incidences in my life when I quit my two long addictions instantly.

The first incidence goes back to my school days when I was studying in class 10, and used to take  tuition for math in a group of 10 students or so. May it be home or school, I was badly addicted to reading Detective (Jasoosi) novels all the time. I still remember the name of famous detective book – Capt Vinod and Hamid. This habit was badly affecting my studies and examination results  but I was badly in grip of this addiction and could not care more. One day, our math tutor was taking on tuition for math in a group of 10 students and I was one of them. After some briefing, he gave us two/three questions and asked us to solve them and keep ready when he returns after 30 minutes. When he returned, he started checking every student’s answer sheet. When he was over with all the 9 students answer sheet, he called my name to show my answer sheet but I was so busy in reading that detective novel that I could not pay attention to his call. When I did not respond for some time, he came to my seat and took away the book I was reading. He was just furious. He said, “this is what you  do in the class. I know your father very well. ‘I can say with conviction you are not a worthy son of your father.’ For the next 24 hours, his remark- “I am not a worthy son of my father” was echoing in my mind and it disturbed me badly. This remark affected me so much that I instantly said to myself ‘enough is enough’ and I threw all my detective books in a well and till date I have never touched and read any detective book. Trust me, on this.

Second: In second incidence, which goes back to when I was working for the largest corporate house in India. I was once attending a high profile company’s meeting at 3pm. I had a 10 year habit of chewing paan immediately after lunch. I had my lunch, took paan and went straight for the meeting. After the meeting was over, my boss called me in his cabin and said, ‘ it is not expected of you to chew paan in company’s official meetings’. I think what he said was right and did not affect me but the way he said it- I could not take his body language. That was the second incidence when I said to myself enough is enough- “I will never have paan during office hours and I gave up this habit instantly and have never ever chewed paan”.

The purpose of sharing these two incidences is only to tell you that it is very difficult to quit old addictions and habits but once you decide to say – ‘enough is enough’ and get determined to quit it, its not impossible either. You will surely get out of this addiction.

MESSAGE

Don’t continue with a habit which hurts your soul and honor of your parents.

 

CONFRONTED WITH CHOICES, WHY DO WE TAKE THE EASY OPTION!!

It is human nature that we do what is convenient rather than what is required, we float, allowing ourselves to get carried away without getting anywhere, rather than pushing ourselves and swimming to the desired share.

Life is like that. Constantly tempting us with comfortable- but unproductive- options, luring us away from the hard work required to achieve our goals. When you find that happening to you, do remember the two Spanish friends who went deer hunting.

They set out in their mini-truck and headed off to the jungle. They parked it at a distance and walked into the bushes to a position of vantage down in the valley, waiting for their prey. They finally managed to shoot a deer. They then began the long journey back to their truck, dead deer in tow.

The two friends clasped the deer’s tail and began to drag it towards their pick-up truck. A farmer saw them struggling and shouted out some advice: ‘that’s not the way to do it”. God made handles for you to drag the deer. You see the antlers on the deer? Those horn-like things? Hold them- and pull the deer!”

The two friends looked at each other and decided to heed the advice, they went to other side, grabbed the deer’s antler’s and continued to drag it?

Ten minutes later, one of them said, ‘Boy, the farmer was right. It is so much easier this way!’ ‘That’s right’, said his friend. ‘Only problem is, we are now going farther and farther away from the truck!’

If you honestly think about it, we are all like that. We are constantly looking for the handles- the antlers- to make our life easier. And we start pulling as soon as we find them, forgetting that we may be headed in the wrong direction.

Clearly, it is important to ensure that in the moment of convenience, we don’t lose sight of our real destination- OUR TRUE GOALS.

Reflect on your life. You will probably see several instances, where you grabbed the antlers as soon as you saw them – only to find yourself moving farther and farther away from your goals. If you ask yourself why you did something, the answer will probably be ‘because it was there’. In life, as in driving, it is not enough to find the best roads and then drive on them. It is equally important to ensure that the roads will take you where you need to go.

MESSAGE:

Learning to spot the antlers to pull the deer is important. But where you need to go- is even more important- Remember this!!

                                                                    ________________

THIS IS TO INFORM MY READERS, YOU CAN VISIT MY HOMEPAGE AND HAVE A LOOK AT THE BOOKS WRITTEN BY ME.

WHY AND HOW TO DEDICATE ONE HOUR OUT OF 24 TO YOURSELF AND GET 23 BACK IN YOUR CONTROL!

 I have some very important message to all my readers through my today’s 100th post. If you dedicate 1 hour daily for just yourself, it will help you assess, analyze, absorb, adopt, accommodate, and attribute towards others what needs to be attributed.

You must observe complete and absolute silence. Devote a place in your house, whether indoors or outdoors that has absolutely no distraction and where you cannot be disturbed. No music, no TV or a movie during this dedicated one hour.

Key elements:

  • Begin by having a conversation with the Lord, putting down the questions for Him. Seek, question and talk from your heart.

 

  • If God answers your prayer, He is increasing your faith. If He delays, He is increasing your patience. If He does not answer, He has something better for you.

 

  • From my experience, many questions that I do write to Him always find their own answers. Somehow, somewhere, almost inevitably the answers come.

 

  • When you spend one hour alone in complete silence and converse with HIM on any matter, your energy starts to radiate and you will be at complete peace with yourself. You will be a source of strength and vitality to others which is contagious. Then wherever you go, whoever you meet, they will perceive this in you.

 

  • When we are in a complete silence for an hour, we put our mind in a state of quiescence and it becomes the perfect instrument through which the best of ourselves manifests.

 

  • When you converse with Him on your problems, you will find the answers that, in turn, will lead to better questions. This is your private conversation with God and is done in whatever way you feel comfortable. Pray, Seek and ask Him the questions in your heart that needs answers. your reflection must be written down.

 

  • You can spend some time to reflect back on yesterday and where you could have improved or done a task better. Analyze why the task was not done, if not done.

 

  • Write down all your plans for the day. Do not overpromise and underdeliver.

 

  • Pick a book from any field that will enhance your knowledge. Read for 10-15 minutes.

                                                       __________________________

THIS IS TO INFORM MY READERS, YOU CAN VISIT MY HOMEPAGE AND HAVE A LOOK AT THE BOOKS WRITTEN BY ME.

 

HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT A PROBLEM AND SEE THE DIFFERENCE!!

Yes! Most of our problems appear as they do because of the way we look at them. So there is a need to change the way you look at a problem!!

Do you hate your job and feel that you are grossly underpaid? Is there a subject that you despise and hate studying? Is there someone who is being rude and nasty to you all the time? Have you been wondering why things are the way they are? May be you should hear the story of the evil monster and the little boy.

Long ago, there lived a monster in a tiny village. The villagers were terrified of it and felt their hamlet was cursed to have such a creature living in their midst. Several men tried to fight the monster. One man attacked it with a sword, but the creature grabbed the weapon, almost magically pulled out another sword-twice as large, twice as sharp- and cut the man in half. Another time, a villager set off with a huge wooden club to clobber the monster. The monster responded by slamming the man with a wooden club twice as heavy as the one he had brought along. On yet another occasion, a villager tried to set the monster on fire. But the monster merely opened its mouth to swallow the fire and, in turn, spewed leaping flames that roasted the poor man.

Scared by these incidences, the village folk gave up trying to fight the monster. They began to believe that this was their fate and they would have to learn to live with it. Then, one day, a little boy said he would go and vanquish the monster. The people were surprised, but despite their skepticism, went along to see the little boy take on the monster.

As the boy looked up at the giant, the monster just flared its nostrils and glared back. The people were frightened. The little boy took out an apple and offered it to the monster. The monster grabbed it, popped it into its mouth, and then thrust its clenched fist in front of the boy. As the fist slowed opened, the people were astonished to see that it held two delicious apples. Twice as red and twice as large as the boy had offered.

The boy then took out a little earthen pot with some water and gave it to the monster. It took that and responded by placing in front of the boy two urns made of gold, filled with delicious juice. The people were ecstatic. They suddenly realized that the monster was not a curse, but a boon to the village. The little boy smiled and the giant just smiled back.

While this story is centuries old, the monster is still around us- in colleges, in offices and in our lives. Most of our problems appear as they do because of the way we look at them. You get back what you give. Twice as much!!

Is someone being rude to you? May be you need to change the way you behave with them. And no, don’t wait for them to change, you need to change first! If you get to work every morning hating each moment you spend in office, it is unlikely you will do a great job. Be nice to the college’s ‘Ms Nasty’. You will discover that the evil monster is infact a benevolent giant.

It is significant that it took a little child to discover the true colours of the monster. Children don’t have preconceived notions. They believe the world is a wonderful place. Its only as they grow up that the optimism vanished and the negative conditioning sets in.

Let that child in you take over. Look at everything you dread with fresh eyes- be it rude colleagues, a tough boss or a horrible job. May be monster is really a nice guy. Change the way you look at it and see the difference!

Message

What you give, you get back!

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HOW TO HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN AND THE CONVICTION TO BACK IT!!

We all have our own stories to tell about weird questions at job interview.But have you heard about how Thomas Alva Edison interviewed people who wanted to work with him? That’s an interesting story there!

After the initial round of questions,if Edison came across a  bright candidate,he would take him out to dinner before making up his mind on whether to hire him.The interview would continue over dinner,and when the food arrived,Edison would take a bite and remark, ‘I think this needs more salt!’. And then he would watch the candidate.

If the candidate added salt before tasting the food he would not be hired. However, if the candidate tasted the food and then decided if salt needed to be added ,Edison would hire him. Edison knew that people who easily believed what other people had to say,or made assumptions without first- hand knowledge or experience, would not be able to look afresh at problems and find innovative solution.They would have closed mind. Edison was looking for people with a mind of their own and the conviction to back it.

We all know people whose potential and dreams remained unrealized because they did not have the conviction to back their instincts.They chose a line of study or a career simply because someone else said it was best for them. They did not chase their passion just because someone said it was doomed, it would not work. In many cases,they gave up even without trying, assuming they could not do it-simply because someone else had said it could not be done.We all have had great ideas but not all of us have gone on to work on them and make them come to life.They later discover that someone else did exactly what we had in mind and found great success.

Do you own things? Make mistakes. Live on  the edge. Chase your dreams. Don’t just go by just what other people tell you. That may be a safe option but it is unlikely to get you the success you deserve.

GO FOR IT. AND YES, DON’T BLINDLY ADD THE SALT IN YOUR FOOD!

                                                              Message

Have an independent and innovative thinking and your own mind.

                                                  ______________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.