LISTING YOUR WORRIES AND PROBLEMS IS HALF SOLVED.

I am a firm believer in Charles kittering’s proverb – “A problem well stated is a problem half solved.” You feel something special when you take out a piece of paper and list your every single problem and worry. This is like a peaceful feeling you get after telling your best friend about something that has been troubling you for weeks. You feel lighter, calmer and freer.

If you keep thinking about your worries and problems, a time will come when you will think little else. In this situation, it becomes very important that you let go the mental clutter that your problems tend to generate. To get out of this situation, list all your worries on a piece of paper. If you do this, they would no longer be able to control your mind and drain your valuable energy.

This is such a simple exercise that will take your problems into proper perspective and let you tackle them in an orderly, well planned sequence. There are many successful people who have successfully used this technique. Winston Churchill once said – “It helps to write down half a dozen things which are worrying me. two of them, say, disappear; about two, nothing can be done, so it is no use worrying and LAST TWO PERHAPS CAN BE SETTLED.

                                                        ______________________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

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BE A MAN OF WORD!! Your ability to keep up your word or promise determines your true character and who you are!!

In the word of Vijay Eswaran:

“Saying the right words only sells your intention.

While showing that you mean what you say can buy trust,

However, doing what you say, SEALS IT.”

There was a time when people were a man of word. They would honor their word and promise under all circumstance. Keeping their word was like worshiping a God. But time has changed. We now live in a time when people hardly have any importance for their word and they treat their words very lightly. We tell a friend we will call her next week for lunch knowing full well we do not have the time to do so. We tell our friend that we will certainly attend his marriage ceremony knowing full well that we will never attend it. And we promise ourselves on the new year day that we will adopt to a fitness regime on the new year day next year to get back into shape, change our life style and simplify our lives without any real intention of doing it or making the deep life changes necessary to achieve these goals.

We don’t really mean what we say and thus habit has become our way of life. The real problem is that when you don’t keep your word, you lose your credibility, you break the bond of trust. And breaking the bond of trusts ultimately leads to a string of broken heart and relationship. You will never be taken seriously or trusted by others.

I cannot suggest you any ready made formulae to develop a habit of keeping your word, and promise. But yes, I can definitely suggest you one thing. IF YOU CAN SEE IT IN YOUR MIND, YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND. I religously follow and implement this saying in my life. Every time you do not keep your word or promise, you feed the habit of UNTRUTHFUL AND UNRELIABLE.

When you promise someone you will do something, JUST DO IT. Be a person of your word rather than being “ALL TALK AND NO ACTION.”

                                                                    ________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

 

 

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A BETTER SELF CONTROL AND WILLPOWER?? TRY THIS!!

Silence and smile are two powerful tools.

Smile is the way to solve many problems and

Silence is the way to avoid many problems!!

 

Your silence for one hour a day can bring magical results!!

Yes, silence can build up an enormous willpower-one that has been used by the Buddhist monks and many cultures over the years to build up a rock like willpower and enormous amount of inner strength and determination.you can enhance your will power and self control by observing silence even for a short period because you exert force on your will by not giving in to the impulse to talk.

I see many people talking far more than they need to.we often continue to talk on and on rather than speaking precisely and communicating only what needs to be communicated.It only reflects a lack of discipline in our life.Discipline involves saying exactly what needs to be said and preserving your precious mental energy by not talking more than you have to.Measured,precise speech is also a sign of clear thought and of a serene mind.

A better strategy to improve your personal discipline could be to take a firm decision to be silent for one hour a day over the next seven days.you must not speak at all during this silent time.DON’T WASTE YOUR WORDS ON PEOPLE WHO DESERVE YOUR SILENCE.However,if you must,speak only in a direct response to a question and give a brief,clear and crisp answer without getting into a detailed conversation.you can observe silence politely and warmly.The purpose of this exercise is to make you stronger and  build up your WILL.

Believe me,in a few days,you will feel and experience a tremendous sense of CONTROL and POWER growing within you.The results will speak for themselves.

                                                                _____________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

 

DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE!! Obviously,NO!! BUT IS IT POSSIBLE? READ……

Whenever I face challenge and hardship in my own life that I fail to change,I remind myself The Serenity Prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr: “God,give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,courage to change the things which should be changed,and the wisdom to distinguish one from other”.

I was once attending a leadership coaching programme and going through an exercise.After finishing this exercise,I found that 50 percent of my worries related to things that would likely never happen; 30 percent were about past actions that could not be changed;10 percent related to the opinions of people whose opinion really did not matter to me; 4 percent concerned personal finances issues that was manageble;only 6 percent concerned real and worrying issues worthy of my attention.

It was amazing that by systematically identifying and then letting go of the worries I could do nothing about or that were a complete waste of energy,I managed to  eliminate 94 percent of problems that were constantly then bothering me all the time.

                                                                MESSAGE

List out all your worries in a systematic way and analyze them one by one carefully by asking yourself the right questions and trust me,you would also be placed in the same scenario like mine.Your stress level would immediately and drastically come down.

                                                                           _________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

 

YOU ARE BORN FOR A REASON-BIG OR SMALL!!

We start to live our lives from the day we start to take our very first  breath that god has given to us.Our purpose starts to take shape.With that first breath,we also step in the world which has endless failure for people who give up and astounding success for individuals who never give up trying.Money,fame ,success…all this has no meaning if the person has not worked harder and harder each day in order to achieve it.

We often hear…”HARDWORK IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS”;for achieving anything, hardwork is must.Work is a great rescue for all difficulties.Constant vigilance and dedication towards work is the price that we pay to gain success in life.Without hardwork, one cannot achieve,but can only dream and desire of achieving it.People go through certain phases in life….good and tough times.We are all humans,we all have that capability to make life as it existed in our dreams.When our time to experience that ‘dream’finally arrives,we forget almost everything and we ultimately get lost in that success,that success which we have been desperately wanting since forever.But somehow,when we actually start to live that dream,we forget about how to make it last forever.In that particular time we only think of our present and not future and hence we face hardship in our future.

The longest journey that we as human being will ever go through is the journey of life.Life has its ups and downs and at the most unexpected time,can go into a horrifying downfall,which has rough and bumpy corners.We eventually ask ourselves,”do we have any control on what our future holds or which turn we will take?

It is  true that life cannot be perfect all the time.Once in a life time,every person faces ups and downs in their lives.It is also  true that an individual with his strength to hold on and with the power of determination can conquer any battle,even if it is the “BATTLE OF LIFE”.Man is born to to work,prosper and grow in life.Just like steel,he shines in use and rusts in rest.

How does it matter if a man lives for ninety years and it is all a story of idleness and wasted opportunities? Lord Jesus Christ died when he was hardly thirty,Lenin died before he was sixty,and yet they have impressions on human history.Idleness  is truly a curse.If we waste time,time shall waste us.A life crammed with work is a life bubbling with a joy of success.Great men of the world were born as unfortunates in cottages but they died in idols,in palaces.

To sum up,greatness and success lie in hard,honest and selfless work.life can be hard to understand and I don’t think even the person most in touch with themselves knows why they were put on  this earth.I believe that we were put on this earth for a reason,big or small.Do we have a plan of our life set out for us already,that we have to follow,no matter how much we try to change it!!

________________________

IS IT DESIRABLE?

 HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SHORT-TEMPERED SPOUSE!!

 

     Most marriages go through periods of highs and lows-It is normal!! Therefore,it is quite common for a husband and wife to differ on certain points.At times,one-person becomes more dominant than the other.If the husband enjoys making his point heard, wife may prefer to let him have his say to maintain calmness and peace in their relationship.

Likewise, wife may disagree with her husband on different matters and the husband may choose to act as a peacemaker in the house.I have even seen short tempered wives and husbands,sometimes,do not even hesitate to scream at each other or at their sweet kids-not only in the house but also at the public places.Most of the time,the main reason of their scream is their stress and anxiety(due to any reason).

Believe me,these are the facts of life and you may have to face it at some point of life.

SOME EFFECTIVE WAY’S TO HANDLE YOUR SPOUSE’S BAD TEMPER:

1-Recognize the triggers,the first step is to recognize each other’s temperament.Make it a point to communicate and voice your feeling to one another in a calm and best possible way without being judgemental .For your respective anger issues,you can deal with them more effectively.It is a common knowledge that ‘opposite attract’ and so make sure that both of you balance each other out and are aware of what irks the other.

2-Learn to take one step back.It would be a wise move if you take a step back to allow your partner to cool down.Therefore,if you find your spouse getting angry over something,please do not make things ugly or worse by tackling them or reprimanding them for their actions then and there.Instead,step aside and allow them to calm down.In time,they themselves will come back and apologize for their outburst.The key here is to give them their space,so that they get time to realize their fault on their own.

3-Keep you attitude in check.Realize that,at times,it may be your behavior,body language and attitude that may cause tempers to fly.But if you fight fire with fire,you will surely land up in a stalemate with the problem still left unresolved.It is important that you manage your emotions well in order to prevent any major outburst with your temperamental spouse.So,if you know that there are things that could cause emotional outburst,your reaction to it could determine whether it has the possibility of turning ugly or getting unresolved.

4 – Have patience, patience and patience.

In order to really deal with your short-tempered spouse,you will have to demonstrate a lot of patience.Sometimes,you may disapprove of your own spouse’s outburst or screaming over trivial and petty issues.These may cause you to wonder what you might have done wrong.However,the key to dealing with such outburst over minor issues is to have the patience to deal with your partner calmly.

Therefore,please avoid  responding with equally nasty or provocative comments that could rupture into something major incident.

5-Talk,talk and talk. Encourage them towards change.you could help encourage your spouse to adopt certain tips to calm down during an outburst. Deep breathing,yoga and meditation could prove to be the right solution to help your partner to keep his/her stress and anxiety under control,which in turn will keep his/her temper under check.

I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR LAST THREE DECADES AND TRUST ME-IT HELPS A LOT TO KEEP YOUR STRESS,ANXIETY AND TEMPER UNDER FULL CONTROL.

TRY IT !!

6-Last but very important.A better sex life.This could be a major reason,why a spouse has a bad temper.It is vital that you both have a healthy sex life.If there are any issues,it must be resolved as fast as possible.

A GOOD SEX LIFE KEEPS A SPOUSE STRESS FREE,HAPPY AND TEMPER FREE.

YES,THIS IS TRUE!!

Based on my knowledge and experience about human behavior,I am confident that these tips will definitely help you to handle your spouse’s anger effectively

HOWEVER, SHOULD NONE OF THESE TIPS WORK,JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE PICKED UP HER/HIM AND THEREFORE TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES TO YOU.EVERYTHING CHANGES ONE DAY(LAW OF NATURE) AND SO WILL CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE’S BAD TEMPER ALSO-ONE DAY.

                                                         MY MESSAGE

WAIT FOR THAT DAY-IT WILL SURELY COME.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IN THIS SITUATION ?

WHILE ARROGANCE IS A SIGN OF YOUR WEAKNESS,

HUMILITY IS THE HIGHEST IMAGINABLE SIGN OF YOUR STRENGTH.

Taking one step back rather one step forward is not the sign of of your

weakness but it could be your victory and symbol of your MATURITY

and HUMILITY.

A truly humble man cannot be an arrogant person.One must reflect modesty like a tree that bends low with the burden of ripening fruits.

It is the barren tree that lifts itself high in an empty boast.Humility contrary to patriarchal designation of it as a sign of weakness,is in fact,the highest imaginable sign of strength.

One has to be spiritually and mentally balanced in an egoless state.This allows us to see order in chaos and chaos in order.In fact it is the balance WITHIN that permits us to see the balance in all things.Hence,chaos WITHOUT is a matter of perception,while chaos WITHIN is the conception of the ego.Be like the ocean which receives all streams and rivers.The ocean mighty calm remains unmoved;IT FEELS THEM NOT.

TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND BETTER ABOUT HUMILITY,I WILL TELL YOU A TRUE STORY OF TWO KINGS.

Once upon a time a king was passing through a dense forest in his royel Carrier alongwith a team of his trusted soldiers.His Carrier was passing through a very narrow passage.A second king of the neighbouring state also happened to be passing through the same forest and it was sheer coincidence that both the kings suddenly happen to meet head-on in that narrow passage.The horse carrier of both the kings had to stop because the passage at that point was so narrow that only one carriage could pass through.

The first king conveyed a message to the second king to take back his horse carrier by a few yards,so that he could pass through that narrow passage.The second king conveyed back the message to the first king that ‘I DON’T GIVE WAY TO FOOLS’ and he will not take back his horse carriage even by an inch.

The first king thought for a second and send across the message to the second king that read-‘I GIVE WAY TO FOOLS’ and he promptly instructed his men to take back the carrier by a few yards and gave way to the  second kind.

MORAL:TAKING ONE STEP BACK BY THE FIRST KING WAS IN NO WAY HIS WEAKNESS,BUT A SIGN OF MATURITY,HUMILITY AND VICTOR

 

                                                          MY MESSAGE

BE LIKE THAT TREE THAT BENDS LOW WITH THE BURDEN OF RIPENING FRUITS.GIVE UP YOUR ARROGANCE,BEND LOW AND DEMONSTRATE YOUR HUMILITY,WHEN THE NEED BE.