HOW TO GIVE THE BEST UPBRINGING TO YOUR SON TO AVOID HIS RESENTMENT TOWARDS YOU.

You may all have heard various incidences of grown up and adult sons, fighting with parents , raising their hands on parents,throwing them out of their house on property matters etc etc. At least I know many such incidences.

But have you ever come across an incidence where a 10 year old son going to police station and lodging a formal complaint that his dad should be beaten by the police.In my view, I don’t think any one of you have  heard such disturbing  incidence ever in your life. But trust me,this is a real life story, which I saw yesterday while watching a reputed TV news channel and this news has been confirmed by government agencies.

Well, this may be just one story of its kind but the fact is if such thing has crossed in the mind of a one 10 year old son,it can cross tomorrow in hundreds,thousand of 10 year old sons.Am I wrong? Can you rule out such possibilities altogether.

This  is the most disturbing  piece of news for me and THIS REMINDS ME WHAT MY DAD TOLD ME 25  years ago. In his own words-“ Ravi! There can be some exceptions, but I can tell you with full confidence that parents of all sons today are unhappy and sad with their sons AND IN TIMES YET TO COME, FUTURE PARENTS WILL BE  VERY UNHAPPY AND SAD WITH THEIR SONS. So you are lucky to have daughters only.” This news about 10 year old son has proved that what my dad said 25 years back has come true. I admire your terrific vision, dad!

The objective of this post is not only to share  this news with young parents but alert, guard and give them a forward path so that this  may not happen with you tomarrow and peace is maintained in your house at all costs.

I will now exactly tell you what was the complaint of this boy at the police station of a very important town in North India.

  • The boy said his father should be beaten by the police because he refused to take him to an important festival and when he insisted his dad beat him.
  • His father is always away from the home on Saturday and Sunday and does not give him any time.Even when he is at home he does not talk to  him.

The police went to the house of this boy for interrogation with his parents but I don’t think it is important for you to know the details of this interrogation.

The important thing is that a son can think of complaining against his father at such a tender age when he is not expected to know the nitty-gritty of such possible police cases.The fact is this boy certainly got badly disturbed emotionally by his dad and he took such a drastic steps against his own father.CAN ANYONE DENY THIS FACT?

I too have seen many cases where sons get wild  and revolting because of ill informed upbringing by their parents and such parents pay a very heavy price for their own deeds and repent when damage has already been done and its too late to undo it,

To avoid such things to happen with any young parents, while time is there, I suggest the following time tested rules.

  • Be honest with your son in every matter you do for him. He must feel it.
  • Give him full attention and as much time as it is possible for you. If you are honest,he is sensible enough to understand  your constraints, if any.
  • Give him all your love.
  • Don’t try to control him at each and every step.  You must learn to ignore things on matters which is not so important but pull the string on few occasions when it needs to be pulled to make him a better human being.The best way to do this is not to do it in front of many people but must discuss it with him on one to one basis without the presence of anybody.

Here again, your success will depend on what is your image in the mind of your son. These are very tricky things but they have impact in totality.

  • Last but not the least NEVER, NEVER, NEVER RAISE YOUR HAND ON YOUR SON AND FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER( HUSBAND AND WIFE) in front of your child.This affect your child very badly EMOTIONALLY and has a great impact on his life at a later stage. I can vouch for this that I have never done this in my life, barring one exception.

IF YOU FOLLOW THESE RULES, I CAN GUARANTY YOU-YOUR SON WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU.

Lastly,it is my request to all my reader to pass on the link of this post to all their friends, family members, well wishers and everyone who may derive benefit from this post. Also. You must send me your comments on this post.

GOOD LUCK!!

                                                                  _________________________

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WHY THINK-‘IF I HELP THEM, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME?’ THINK – ‘IF I DON’T HELP THEM, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THEM?’

It is a story that is over a more than hundred years old but the lessons are still relevant today. The year was 1892, the place: Stanford University. Am eighteen year-old student was struggling to pay his fees. He was an orphan and not knowing where to turn for money, he came up with a bright idea.

A friend and he decided to host a concert on campus to raise money for their education. They reached out to pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski, who was quite a superstar  then. Paderewski’s manager demanded a guaranteed fee of 2000 dollars for the piano recital. They agreed. A deal was struck. And the boys began to work to make the concert a success.

The big day arrived. Paderewski, performed at Stanford. But unfortunately, they had not managed to sell enough tickets. The total collection was only 1600 dollars. Disappointed, they went to Paderewski and explained their plight. They gave him the entire 1600 dollars, plus a cheque for the balance 400 dollars. They promised to honour the cheque as soon as they could. ‘No way!’ said Paderewski. This is just not acceptable!’ he tore up the cheque, returned the cash and told the two boys, ‘here is the 1600 dollars. Please deduct whatever expenses you have incurred. Keep the money you need for your fees. You can just give me whatever is left!’ the boys were surprised and overjoyed. They thanked him a lot.

It was a small act of kindness. But it clearly marked o Paderewski as someone special.

He would have been within his rights to demand his ‘guaranteed money’. Moreover, why should he help two people he did not even know?

We all come across such situations in our lives. Times when other people need our help. Most of us only think, if I help them, what will happen to me?’ the truly great people think, ‘ if I don’t help them what will happen to them?’. Most of us only think of ourself, the loss we might incur, the trouble we might have to go through and the sacrifice we need to make. The true greats don’t think of themselves. They think of the difference their actions could make to other people, and that’s what drives their actions.

They help not because someone else is watching, or because it will look good when the world finds out. They don’t do it expecting something in return. They do it because they feel it’s the right thing to do.

It may not surprise you to know that Paderewski went on to become the Prime Minister of Poland. He was a great leader, but unfortunately, when the world war began, Poland was ravaged. There were over one and a half million people starving in his country, and there was no money to feed them. Paderewski did not know where to turn for help.

He reached out to the United States Food and Relief Administration for help. Its head was a man called Herbert Hoover, who later became the US president. Hoover agreed to help and quickly shipped tonnes of foodgrains to feed the starving polish people. A big calamity was averted. A relieved Paderewski decided to meet Hoover and thank him in person.

When Paderewski began to express his gratitude to Hoover for his noble gesture, Hoover quickly interjected and said, ‘you should not be thanking me, Mr. Prime Minister! You may not remember this, but several years ago, you helped two young students go through college in the U.S. I was one of them.

Do something selfless today! Help someone!! Just do it without expecting anything, anything in return. The world is  a wonderful place. What goes around, usually comes around.

                                                                   ______________________

THIS IS TO INFORM MY READERS, YOU CAN VISIT MY HOMEPAGE AND HAVE A LOOK AT THE BOOKS WRITTEN BY ME.

REWARDING PEOPLE IN ADVANCE CAN INDEED MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE!!

Do you think rewarding people in advance makes more sense?

You would agree with me that sometimes even an  ordinary event can be an extraordinary event life- lessons for all of us.Like it happened at a lunch I had with with a friend a few years ago. As for as I can recall it,the food was good, and the conversation unforgettable. But what made the lunch memorable was really terrific and unusual.

As we entered the restaurant and sat down at our table, my friend reached for his wallet. He pulled out a 100-rupee note and handed it to the waiter, who accepted it with a big smile. Trust me, the size of the tip did not surprise me at all- it was the timing.

It was for the first time I had seen someone tipping for services even before we had ordered our meal. We got treated like royalty that afternoon. The service was quick, the waiter seemed to be hovering around us and there was a big smile all the time at his face. As we walked out after a great meal, I kept wondering: Why don’t we all tip before a meal? -rather than after a meal.

If we think about it, the lesson goes beyond tipping. Rewarding other people- in advance can bring magical result. So what really happened at the restaurant that day? By paying the tip upfront, my friend was telling the waiter, ‘I know you will do a terrific job of looking after us!’ And the waiter was probably telling himself, ‘Ah! He trusts me to look after him well. I must do all I can to live up to his expectations’. We expected great service that afternoon- and got it!

Unfortunately, most of us are brought up on a diet of conditional love and recognition. ‘ if you come first in class, then you will get a wrist watch’. Since only one kid can come first, that leaves  rest of us feeling inferior and unsure about ourselves. And yes,now imagine what might have happened if your father had given you a watch at the start of  your school term,said he knew you were a bright kid, and that he expected you to do well.

Your father expressing this confidence in you can create miracle. You would do all you could to live up to his expectations. Would that ensure you come first in  class? No, not quite.But would it make you do your best and perform to your full potential? You bet! It is for sure!

AND THAT IS REALLY WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT AND YOUR INOVATIVE INSTINCTS PAYS OFF.

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REWARD PEOPLE IN ADVANCE AND SEE THE MAGIC.

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A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

 

 

OUR CLOSEST ONE GIVE US HEARTACHES & PAINS BUT THEY ARE THE ONES WHO GIVE US WARMTH AS WELL WHEN WE NEED IT MOST !!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY BELOVED READERS!!

Do you know?

Porcupines are fascinating creatures.It is hard to believe, but each porcupine has an average about 30,000 quills. These are really like a hair but are coated with a keratin-like substance. When attacked the porcupine responds by dashing backwards into the enemy, and several of these quills get stuck in the attacker’s body causing serious injury.When one quill falls off from the porcupine’s body, another quickly takes its place.

I often think there are people who take after the animal! Docile at the first appearance……but when provoked,boy, all those quills are quickly out to fix you! I want to share with you an interesting story from the world of porcupines that holds a valuable-and pointed- life lessons for all of us.

The story is like it was a seriously harrowing time in porcupine’s land.The winter was severe and  the porcupines were finding survival most difficult.They were freezing to death. That is when they held  a meeting  to discuss on a course of action. As they got together to discuss their survival strategy, they discovered that just by being in close  proximity with each other they were able to feel warmer and protect each other. Being closeted together meant that their bodies generated heat which  helped keep everybody warm. So they found they could survive the cold by just staying together.

But there was a problem.As they moved closer,they found each other’s quills to be a problem-they pocked and hurt. Feeling this discomfort,some porcupines decided to avoid the pain from the quill pokes and moved away. As they ventured out on their own, the cold got them into its grip and they died.

Soon better sense prevailed and porcupines realized it was better to stay together and survive rather than go out on their own and die. Getting poked by the quills of porcupines that were close to them seemed like a small price to pay for the survival.

You will probably find that the porcupine story rings true in the context of  our families and orgnizations. We often get hurt by the words and actions of people close to us. We move away in anger, not realizing that being away- and alone- could mean paying a bigger price. You can notice how families,siblings fight and homes break up because of small differences- the odd porcupine prick. Business partnerships and joint ventures fell apart, and employees decides to part ways- because of minor differences with their partners and colleageus. We all seem to think that  going away would put an end to our trouble. No more quill priks is what we tell ourselves. But we seldom realize that going away often marks the beginning of new trouble, bigger challenges.

It is probably significant that the porcupines are hurt by the quills only of those porcupines that are closest to them.The porcupine that is far away does not cause pain,nor does it provide any warmth.It is good to remember that in life,the little heartaches and the discomfort and pain may be CAUSED BY THE ONES CLOSEST TO US- BUT THEY ARE THE ONES WHO GIVE US WARMTH WHEN WE NEED IT MOST.

YES! THIS IS REALITY OF LIFE!!

                                                              _____________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

 

 

DO WE ALL REALLY NEED STICK IN THE NEW YEAR 2018 TO PUT US INTO ACTION!!

In my view,yes! We all need stick in all areas of our life to put us into action, in the new year 2018.

I have a interesting story about an elephant who would be taken out for a stroll through the lanes of the busy market.As it walked along,it would reach out with its trunk for a bunch of banana hanging out in front of a store,and before the shopkeeper could react,the banana would be inside the mouth of elephant. It would then sway its trunk into another store and bring down  bunches of carefully arranged flowers.Or it would grab a coconut from the woman selling coconut on the road and crunch it in its mouth like a walnut. The mahout(elephant’s master) would try to stop the elephant from doing all these things,but to no avail.The mahout even tried beating the elephant with his stick, but it would not listen. The banana and the coconut were just too  tempting to resist

But then one day, the clever mahout had an idea.As the elephant was leaving the temple gates for its evening walk,the mahout held his stick out for the elephant to hold with its trunk. The elephant obediently took the mohout’s stick and curled its trunk around it.

Now, as it walked through the busy market,the elephant longingly eyed the bananas but since it held stick with its trunk, it had  to leave the fruits alone.To grab the banana, it would have to drop the stick- and that would mean offending the mahout.So the elephant held on to the stick that the mahout  had given it and walked through the street without disturbing the merchandise in the shops. The shopkeeper were delighted,their admiration for  the temple elephant grew, and they often handed over gifts for the elephant to the mahout.

If you really think about it, we are all in a way like the elephant.As we go through our lives, we get distracted by the temptations around  us. And even though our mahouts-our parents, our teachers and our bosses- tell us to stay focused and not get distracted, we continue to do so. What we really need is that STICK to hold.That stick is usually a goal-a purpose- that excites us and keep us on track. Like an elephant’s trunk, our minds  too wanders. We need that stick to keep it focused.

Most of our problems in life start when we don’t have anything meaningful to do. Having no goals means not having to work towards achieving them. You need stick- in all areas of your life, not just at work.Not having a hobby or a passion means spending long hours doing nothing.That old adage still rings true- an idle mind is indeed a devil’s workshop.

So starting today, get yourself a goal, a purpose that drives you to action. That’s not all. Play a sport,indulge a passion, spend time on a hobby-don’t just sit there doing nothing. Unlike the temple elephant, not all of us are lucky enough to find a mahout- a caring leader-who gives us that stick to hold.But we all need that goal!

YOU WILL FIND A STICK FOR YOURSELF TODAY,WON’T YOU?

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                           Have a goal, purpose in life that will drive you to Action.

                                                                 _____________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

HOW TO HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN AND THE CONVICTION TO BACK IT!!

We all have our own stories to tell about weird questions at job interview.But have you heard about how Thomas Alva Edison interviewed people who wanted to work with him? That’s an interesting story there!

After the initial round of questions,if Edison came across a  bright candidate,he would take him out to dinner before making up his mind on whether to hire him.The interview would continue over dinner,and when the food arrived,Edison would take a bite and remark, ‘I think this needs more salt!’. And then he would watch the candidate.

If the candidate added salt before tasting the food he would not be hired. However, if the candidate tasted the food and then decided if salt needed to be added ,Edison would hire him. Edison knew that people who easily believed what other people had to say,or made assumptions without first- hand knowledge or experience, would not be able to look afresh at problems and find innovative solution.They would have closed mind. Edison was looking for people with a mind of their own and the conviction to back it.

We all know people whose potential and dreams remained unrealized because they did not have the conviction to back their instincts.They chose a line of study or a career simply because someone else said it was best for them. They did not chase their passion just because someone said it was doomed, it would not work. In many cases,they gave up even without trying, assuming they could not do it-simply because someone else had said it could not be done.We all have had great ideas but not all of us have gone on to work on them and make them come to life.They later discover that someone else did exactly what we had in mind and found great success.

Do you own things? Make mistakes. Live on  the edge. Chase your dreams. Don’t just go by just what other people tell you. That may be a safe option but it is unlikely to get you the success you deserve.

GO FOR IT. AND YES, DON’T BLINDLY ADD THE SALT IN YOUR FOOD!

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Have an independent and innovative thinking and your own mind.

                                                  ______________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

DID YOU EVER HAVE THIS KIND OF EMBARRASSMENT IN A RESTAURANT?

Possibly No, but I don’t want to presume!

Can you believe that eating 10 Pastries in a restaurant could bring so much embarrassment to me? But you have got to trust me as this is a real life incidence!!

When I was very young, I was once going to to Pachmari, a hill station in Madhya Pradesh,India, to attend an Advanced Leadership Camp  with Rock Climbing Course. The duration of this camp was three  weeks.  After finishing the course,on my way back home,I decided to break my journey at Allhabad,UP,India and stay for a day with my brother,who was then studying Law at Allahabad University.

I reached my brother’s hostel in the morning and in the evening,he decided to take me for an outing along with his good friend.After roaming for about an hour, they took me to a very popular restaurant in Allhabad. They ordered for Coffee and  Pastry which was served to us after a while.

I was surprised to see that 12 Pastries of different varities were served to us in a plate. Strange-12 pastries for just three persons! While my brother and his friend were sipping coffee, they just took 1 piece of pastry each. I  picked up two pastry and finished it in no time. While I had finished 4 pastry, my brother and his friend had just one each and they did not seem to be  interested in eating anymore pastry. The ratio of pastry consumption between my brother/his friend and me seemed to me unbalanced and I was keen that they atleast pick up one more each so that I find it easy to lay my hands on balance pastry without any hesitation. But they seemed to be firm on not eating anymore.

Meanwhile,my brother’s friend called the waiter and asked him to bring the bill. What struck to me was that this restaurant would anyway charge us for the full plate containing 12 pastries.If we don’t eat the remaining 6 pastries, we wil have to pay for 12 pastries and waiter will take away unfinshed 6 pastries. So before the waiter could bring the bill, which took about 5 minutes,I grabbed one pastry each in my both hand  and finshed it all  remaining 6 pastries before the waiter could show his face. After the payment, we all came out of the restaurant and decided to return to hostel.

When we reached my brother’s hostel room around 9 pm, the food was being served in the hostel’s mess. My brother asked me to accompany him to mess for dinner, but since I had consumed 10 pastries I was feeling uneasy and refused to have my dinner. My brother looked at me with a long face and told me, ‘ don’t you have eating manners? Why did you eat 10 pastries in one go like an ANIMAL?’ I said to my brother, ‘I did not want  while we pay for 12 pastries, waiter takes away unconsumed 6 pastries.My brother told me you are all wrong-the restaurant’s serves assorted pastries of all varities in a plate and they charge only for the pastries consumed and take away unconsumed pastries withoud charging for them.  Meanwhile, my brother’s friend dropped in the room and was enquiring with my brother,if I was feeling ok now(since I had complained of stomach uneasiness).

I got so embarrassed at my ignorance, greed and this incidence,that I failed to keep my eye contact with my friend and his friend.

HA HA HA HA………….What a memorable but embarrassing day!!

                                                             ______________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.