YES,NEVER HESITATE!! IF YOU ARE WRONG,HAVE COURAGE TO GENUINELY SAY-‘I M SORRY’
It is a fact of life that Relationship Problems do creep in one’s life at some point of life.This relationship problems could be between Husband and Wife,Father and Son,Mother and Daughter or for that matter any other relationship.While 90% relationship problem occur due to Non-communication,there are also some relationship problem, which creep in because of a person’s inability to own up to a mistake and apologize.I have seen many people around who are incapable of saying, ‘I am Sorry’.They perhaps like to put their failure behind them and cannot admit they are wrong.
I,THEREFORE,STRONGLY FEEL THAT THIS KIND OF MINDSET TO DISOWN A MISTAKE AND AN APOLOGY, STRAINS AND BREAK RELATIONSHIP MORE OFTEN THAN ANY PERSONAL FAILING.
As I am also a Life Coach,i do often get people coming to me for resolving their relationship problems.I will cite a specific case to make you understand better.
A person came to me for a relationship problem with his wife.After giving a patient hearing to him,which is my primary job,i came to know that since this man had lost his job,he was not earning enough to meet his financial obligation towards his family.His wife had to start working to support family.As is the case normally,wife started abusing her husband most of the time and this went on for three long years.
Imagine what this man went through this abusing relationship and mental agony for such a long time,but he decided to maintain silence,not because of any weakness,but to avoid any kind of confrontation,unhealthy home environment and primarily not to fight with wife and set a bad example to his growing children.
Since the man was not on talking terms with his wife,he wrote a letter to his wife to stop this abuse and mental torture.He gave her 6 months time to mend her ways,otherwise,he would be forced to leave the house,which he will not like to do for the sake of growing children.But even after 10 months,wife did not change her ways and continued her abusive behavior.This man possibly not finding any other option,left his house to stay elsewhere and had now come to me for any possible solution of this whole problem.I asked this person-was he really serious to resolve this relationship problem with his wife.He promptly said,’if i was not serious,i would not have come to you’.
Without any further discussion on this matter,i took the phone number of his wife,called her in front of him and told her upfront that her husband was sitting with me to discuss and resolve the the problem between them. I also told her that if i had to resolve their problem,i also need to meet her.I asked her,if she could drop in my office torrow at a mutually agreed time and she agreed to meet me.When the wife met me the next day,i only asked her two questions:
1-Is it true that you have been abusing and torturing your husband for the last 3 long years?
She had the courage to say-YES.
2-Has your husband been totally silent all these 3 long years and not confronted you ever?
She again had the courage to say-YES.
I then politely asked her,’Don’t you think that your husband’s long 3 years silence and suffering now deserves a change of heart from your side.She again demonstrated the courage to say-‘yes’ but’How’?
I asked her’Will you accept my advice’?
She politely said,YES.
I then called her husband who was sitting next room to my cabin.To my surprise,wife got up and offered her seat to her husband,since i had deliberately kept only one chair.This is what i wanted to see to take this matter to the next level.I again asked his wife-CAN YOU PLEASE SAY “I AM SORRY” TO YOUR HUSBAND?”
She took about 10 seconds to react but eventually said ‘I am sorry’ to her husband.Husband hugged her to reciprocate her gesture and she too hugged her husband with tears in her eyes but smile on her face.
They thanked me for bringing them together and left for their home.
MY MESSAGE TO YOU
Remember,change of heart do happen at an appropriate time.Sometime,a barrier is formed between a husband and wife and this needs to be broken with the right body language and by just genuinely saying-‘I AM SORRY’.This has a very very powerful impact.
I HAVE ONLY ONE ADVICE TO GIVE TO MARRIED COUPLES-“DO NOT EVER HURT YOUR MAN’s ‘EGO’ AND DO NOT HURT YOUR WIFE’S ‘SENTIMENT’.
YOUR HAPPY MARRIED LIFE IS SECURED -TRUST ME!!
GOOD LUCK FRIENDS!!