STOP ELDER ABUSE!
PLEASE REMEMBER THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR ELDERLY PARENTS NOW, IS THE WAY YOUR CHILDREN WILL TREAT YOU WHEN YOU BECOME AN ELDERLY PARENT IN FUTURE.
I have an entirely different thoughts and approach to this matter.
An elderly parent is someone who should be in the age group of 65 years and is possibly sailing through the last one or two decades of his life journey. In all these 65 years of his age, he has acquired certain attitude, habits, temper, behavior, outlook which is rock solid and cannot be changed at this final stage of his life.
So, if this cannot be changed, we should be willing to change as his son or daughter. In other words, there is no need to handle an elderly parent’s bad temper. Instead, you need to handle your own temper and patience to pave a way for a healthy relationship with your parents and prove yourself a worthy son or daughter at least during their last few years of life left for them.
YOUR ELDERLY PARENTS DESERVE TO LIVE A DIGNIFIED AND RESPECTFUL LIFE AND YOU OWE IT TO THEM- UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.
To provide them a life, full of dignity, grace and respect – you need to watch your own temper and act in the following manner:
- Recognize and accept that they cannot change their habits and temper at the age of 65+.
- Love your elderly parents for whatever they are. If you love them, you can easily overcome most of your difficulties in dealing with their bad temper.
- Live with the mindset that since you cannot change their behavior, it will be prudent to change your own behavior.
- Always remember, your own son or daughter is observing you carefully (even in subconscious) and when you become an elderly parent – They will treat you exactly the way you have treated your own elderly parents.
YES !! THIS IS LAW OF NATURE.
WHAT YOU GIVE IS RETURNED TO YOU IN THE LAST PHASE OF YOUR LIFE, IF NOT EARLY.
I have seen this happening. Please remember this.
- 5. Age and illness can intensify longstanding personality traits in some unpleasant ways: an irritable person may become enraged, an important person demanding and impossible to please.
Please try to intensify the cause of anger. In most elderly individuals, behavior are symptoms of distress. The aging process in and of itself sometimes brings about anger, as senior’s vent frustrations about getting old, having chronic pain,losing friends,having money issues,being incontinent- all the undignified things can happen to elderly parents at this age.
With the aging process, our parents do not have control. As a care giver, the best thing you can do is not to take it personally. Focus on the positive, ignore the negative, and take a break from care giving when you can by finding some respite. You might also want to consider in some cases, calling in a home health nurse.
- 6. I know a family where an elderly parents were staying under the care of their youngest son and overall, they were passing off a happy life, except a few bad experiences. The second son of elderly parents had his own vested interest In the village and he compelled his parents to come to the village on a clear promise that he would look after his old parents there. When he got his work done through the help of his elderly parents, he started neglecting them completely. This matter did not end here. Son also started hitting his old parents- this was unbelievable and shocking. The father went through this physical and mental torture for nearly four months and ultimately lost his life.