OUR OWN ACTIONS ARE REASONS FOR OUR ANXIETIES AND FEARS!!

Sounds familiar? Do you find it difficult to trust other people? Reality is- we often distrust other people and suspect them of doing things that often mirror our own actions.

Maybe the story of a boy and his marbles make you understand better what I want to tell you. It’s a simple story about two children- WITH A MESSAGE FOR ALL GROWN UPS.

A Little boy and a girl were playing near their house. The boy has a pocketful of marbles, while the girl had some candy. As the boy kept playing with the marbles, he constantly eyed the candy in the girls hands. His mouth was watering. He made her an offer. He would give her all his marbles in exchange for the candy, the girl happily agreed.

The boy slyly hid the biggest and the most beautiful marble in his pocket and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him ALL the candy as promised.

The girl, that night, played for a while with the marbles before going to bed. And she slept soundly. The boy, however, just could not sleep. He kept wondering if the girl had hidden the best candy and kept it with her- just as he had done with his marbles.

SHE SLEPT WELL BUT HE DIDN’T!

The point is when we face a trust issue, we normally tend to believe that the problem is with the other person.But often the problem lies in us,not them. The way we see the world treating us is usually a reflection of the way we treat other people, YES, THIS IS A FACT!!

Maybe you should ask yourself if you are the one hiding the best marble. The next time you find yourself doing a candy-for-marble swap, remember to play a fair game KEEP YOUR WORD IN TOTALITY. GIVE. You might think you have got a little less in the bargain than what you could have.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?  YOU WILL HAVE A SOUND SLEEP!!

MESSAGE

KEEP YOUR WORD. GIVE. SLEEP WELL WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

IT IS VERY SATISFYING !!

                                                               ________________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

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RESPECT MONEY ELSE IT WILL LEAVE YOU!!!!!

IN the year 2008 when everyone was talking about pink slips and zero bonuses and crashing stock markets,it reminds me a story that controlled our tendency to behave  somewhat irrationally in money matters.

Imagine that you are in a store,buying a watch.You like the brand and the design.The strap is just right.Price is Rs 999 that fits your budget.You decide to pick it up but just as you are about to pay for it,you bump into a dear friend.He notices the watch and tells you that he has seen the same watch in the store across the road-priced at Rs 899.A WHOLE HUNDRED RUPEES LOWER!

What would you do? Most of us,I am sure,would walk across to the other store, and save hundred rupees.Why spend Rs 999 when you can get the same watch for Rs 899?Makes sense!

Now,let us imagine another scenario.you are at the store buying an expensive swiss watch.you like the brand and the design.It is priced at Rs1,50,200.And you decide to pick it up.Just as you are about to pay for it,you bump into a dear friend He tells you that the same watch is  available at a store across the road for Rs 1,50,100. A WHOLE HUNDRED RUPEES LOWER!

What would you do now? Like most people,you would probably stay put and buy it there only at the same store.Afterall,what is hundred rupees value when you are spending some1,50,000 rupees?

But we tend to get carried away by an unrelated metric.How much we are spending at a given moment affects our perception of the money being saved.If saving hundred rupees matters to you,it should matter to you regardless of whether you are spending 2000 rupees or 200,000 rupees.we all need to learn  the value of small stuff,those hundred rupees note,regardless of how much we spend.In times of abundance,it is good to be cautious.It may just help stretch the abundance a bit.

Getting money to work for you is no different from getting people to work for you.IF YOU DON’T TREAT YOUR MONEY WITH RESPECT,IT WILL LEAVE YOU. And when the recession hits-as it will sometime-those who valued those hundred rupees even while they were spending big,will find themselves better placed to tide over the difficult times.

                                                                                 MESSAGE

In times of abundance,be always cautious.It may just help stretch the abundance a bit. If hundred rupees really matters to you,it should matter to you regardless of of whether you are spending 2000 rupees or 200,000 rupees.

                                                                         ____________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

THE MAGIC OF PERSEVERANCE!!

To make you believe that Persistence pays in all walks of life,I would give you a live example of a great Sri Lankan Cricketer,which has always inspired me and I still continue to read this story when I feel the need for self motivation.

That great cricketer is none than Marvan Ata pattu who made his debut in Test Cricket for Sri Lanka but scored zero in his first innings.And  again zero in second innings.He was dropped from the team.So he went back to the nets for more practice.It was only after a wait of 21 months,he got a second chance.

He tried his best this time,but scored zero in the first innings and 1 run in second innings.Dropped again,he went back for more serious practice.He scored tonnes of runs to get out of the painful memories of the Test failures.Well,17 months later,opportunity again knocked at his door.Marvan went to bat in both the innings of the Test.His score:0 and 0

Back to the rigorous practice.The selectors felt that he lacked Test-match temperament.His technique wasn’t good enough at the Test match level.But undaunted, Marvan kept trying with some hope that selectors would someday give him another chance.

Three years later,he got another chance.This time he made runs and in an outstanding career thereafter,he went on to score over 5000 runs for Sri Lanka.This included 16 centuries and 6 double centuries.He never looked back and eventually he became Captain of the Sri Lankan Test cricket team.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT! How many of us can handle failure and rejections the way he handled? IT was six years of trying and failing.Anybody would have been tempted to shift and persue another career.But he did not and THAT MADE THE REAL DIFFERENCE.The next time you are staring at possible failure or rejection in life,think of this great Marvan and just remember this:If you don’t give up,if you believe in yourself,if you stay the course,time will change one day and you would eventually succeed and prove your worth someday.

THIS IS THE LAW OF NATURE AND MAGIC OF PERSEVERANCE.

                                                                MESSAGE

Once,Winston Churchill was asked the secret of success in life.His reply was:NEVER GIVE UP.NEVER,NEVER GIVE UP!

IF YOU FOLLOW HIS ADVICE,PERSEVERANCE WILL REWARD YOU SOMEDAY.

                                                    _________________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

FEAR FEW THINGS IS DESIRABLE THAN FEAR NOT ANYTHING!!

We normally hear our parents,friends and others telling us to be fearless. While it is good not to fear anything but to fear a few things in life is also desirable. It is a balancing act that is required.

If you have seen the movie Troy, an army officer tells the General,”Sir,the army is under fear that you may punish them”. The General responds quickly something very important. “Fear can be constructive if you can manage it well”.

It is true that you manage and lead people by setting a very high example of yourself. But this is also a fact that men are managed by the FEAR of punishment. You would agree that it is because of the fear of the police,that criminals and crime rate is controlled.It is because of fear of losing the job that employees become productive. It is also only because of  fear of punishment that children are controlled by parents and teachers.

However,managing  someone’s fear is an skill and some guidelines on managing fear is as below:

  • Be fearless yourself. Being fearless at all times could be your highest achievement.But to be totally fearless,you need to do only right things in your life. Once in a battlefield,a warrior said,”If I look directly into the  eyes of the enemy just for a few seconds,my fear disappears”. In other words,you must face the challenge of life directly without depending on anything or anyone.
  • Never, Never misuse fear.you can misuse the fear of your subordinates.you naturally command fear just because of being in a position of authority or power.But remember,respect cannot be demanded  but commanded.you can force others to fear you through authority and the power wielded.But to win respect,you have to win the heart of the other person.If you want to check if you are a successful leader or not,try to find out if everyone is comfortable and happy when you are around.
  • you must punish fairly.Punishment is unavoidable at times.However,one can punish rightly and justly.As you know,in a billiard game,if you hit the ball too hard or too soft,it won’t go into the pot.You should hit the ball with the right amount of force.Likewise,if you punish too much,you will be seen as a terror.But,if you are too soft,the work will not get done.Its a balancing act that is required.SO BE FIRM,YET CONSIDERATE.

A criminal was being sent to the gallows.As is the normal practice,he was asked what his last wish was.He replied to the shock of the jailer.”To kill my father because of whom I am going to the gallows…..”He never corrected me when I was wrong,nor did he punish me when I deserved it.So,I never had the fear of being punished and  IT IS THAT FEARLESSNESS WHICH HAS TODAY BROUGHT ME TO GALLOWS.

                                                                       MESSAGE

To create fear in the mind of wrong people,to punish people when they deserve is very important-this will only benefit them.At the same time, misuse of fear must be avoided to the right people to make them fearless.

                                                                ________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards.

HOW TO DEVELOP A GROWTH MIND-SET!!

We spend a lot of time and energy at work trying not to fail. However, most people des cribe their failure as an important part of learning and growing. Adopt a growth mind-set and accept that failure is the part of the process of skill development.

People with a growth mind-set feel smart when they are learning, not just when they are succeeding. Don’t limit yourself to doing things that you know you can do-trust me, you won’t grow that way.

Instead, try things that are above your ability and set high goals that you are you are not sure you can reach. You might surprise yourself and succeed, and if you don’t, you will atleast learn something new.

Is this not exciting? Your views pl!

_______________

SHOULD WE JUDGE A PERSON ON THE BASIS OF LOOK ALONE?

In my view before we try to answer this question,you should first ask yourself ‘why do I ask such question?’ What is the real purpose? I mean,do you want answer to this question because you are looking for a date with someone for a serious relationship leading to marriage OR you are looking for someone for a casual relationship OR you want someone to be with you to move around in a circle of friends who are good looking OR You are looking for a like minded person to regularly spend quality time with him or her.

As a general rule,judging someone on the basis of look alone can prevent you from seeing the good that lies beyond appearance.But the choice of your answer would entirely depend upon what is your real purpose.For instance,,how does it matter when you judge some one on the basis of look alone,if you want to have a casual relationship with him or her?

But yes,if you are looking for a date with someone for a serious relationship leading to marriage,you may have to  take a different view altogether,.because it’s a different ballgame.But let me tell you one thing. Honestly,you cannot ignore or undermine the importance of good look.Physical attraction is a very natural God gift to humanity and its normal to get attracted to a good looking man or woman.After all,when you meet someone for the first time ,you can only see his/her look-not other good or bad qualities.

But since we are now only confined to answer your question for a serious relationship,I am not averse to look for a good looking guy or girl because that is the first step in exploring other good or bad  habits in each other which will take time.

It may so happen,after being with each other for a sufficient time,if you ultimately find that he or she is a right marriage material,as per your choice of qualities,you can seal this relationship into a permanent relationship and if you find that he or she is not a marriage material,you should not try to take this this relationship to the next level on the basis of good look alone which had brought you both together.YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE A HONEST AND FRANK DISCUSSION WITH EACH OTHER AND DEPART GRACEFULLY WITH EACH OTHER,

MESSAGE

I very strongly feel that no serious relationship can survive or sustain purely on the basis of good look.It has to have other desired qualities like DEPENDABILITY, TRUSTWORTHINESS AND RIGHT THINKING. If a person lacks in these qualities, in my view,any serious relationship can not flourish and be permanent.

A WORD OF CAUTION:PL DO NOT MAKE ANY COMMITMENT FOR MARRIAGE PURELY ON THE BASIS OF GOOD LOOK AND UNLESS YOU HAVE EXPLORED THE OTHER DESIRED QUALITIES AND ARE SURE ABOUT IT.

_______________________________

A SMALL SERVICE TO MY BELOVED READERS:

As i am also a life coach, if you so desire, you can refer to me  your personal, professional and family issues either through my blog or my email (given below) and I would send you my advice within a week.I am extending my services  to you for a very nominal  fee of 1 $ per advice which I only want to charge because when you get something free, you do not value it.My main objective

is to give you the benefit of my knowledge and three decades experience  so that you begin to think and understand life issues in an appropriate and rational manner and right perspective and lead a calm,anxiety free and happy life.

My email: ravi_singh52@hotmail.com

Thanks and Regards

IF YOU ARE HONEST IN SAYING-‘I M SORRY’-IT HAS MAGICAL IMPACT.

YES,NEVER HESITATE!! IF YOU ARE WRONG,HAVE COURAGE TO GENUINELY SAY-‘I M SORRY’

It is a fact of life that Relationship Problems do creep in one’s life at some point of life.This relationship problems could be between Husband and Wife,Father and Son,Mother and Daughter or for that matter any other relationship.While 90% relationship problem occur due to Non-communication,there are also some relationship problem, which creep in because of a person’s inability to own up to a mistake and  apologize.I have seen many people around who are  incapable of saying, ‘I am Sorry’.They perhaps like to put their failure behind them and cannot admit they are wrong.

I,THEREFORE,STRONGLY FEEL THAT THIS KIND OF MINDSET TO DISOWN A MISTAKE AND AN APOLOGY, STRAINS AND BREAK RELATIONSHIP MORE OFTEN THAN ANY PERSONAL FAILING.

As I am also a Life Coach,i do often get people coming to me for resolving their relationship problems.I will cite a specific case to make you understand better.

A person came to me for a relationship problem with his wife.After giving a patient hearing to him,which is my primary job,i came to know that since this man had lost his job,he was not earning enough to meet his financial obligation towards his family.His wife had to start working to support family.As is the case normally,wife started abusing her husband most of the time and this went on for three long years.

Imagine what this man went through this abusing relationship and mental agony for such a long time,but he decided to maintain silence,not because of any weakness,but to avoid any kind of confrontation,unhealthy home environment and primarily not to fight with wife and set a bad example to his growing children.

Since the man was not on talking terms with his wife,he wrote a letter to his wife to stop this abuse and mental torture.He gave her 6 months time to mend her ways,otherwise,he would be forced to leave the house,which he will not like to do for the sake of growing children.But even after 10 months,wife did not change her ways and continued her abusive behavior.This man possibly not finding any other option,left his  house to stay elsewhere and had now come to me for any possible solution of this whole problem.I asked this person-was he really serious to resolve this relationship problem with his wife.He promptly said,’if i was not serious,i would not have come to you’.

Without any further discussion on this matter,i took the phone number of his wife,called her in front of him and told her upfront that her husband was sitting with me to discuss and resolve the the problem between them. I also told her that if i had to resolve their problem,i also need to meet her.I asked her,if she could drop in my office torrow at a mutually agreed time and she agreed to meet me.When the wife met me the next day,i only asked her two questions:

1-Is it true that you have been abusing and torturing your husband for the last 3 long years?

She had the courage to say-YES.

2-Has your husband been totally silent all these 3 long years and not confronted you ever?

She again had the courage to say-YES.

I then politely asked her,’Don’t you think that your husband’s long 3 years silence and suffering now deserves a change of heart from your side.She again demonstrated the courage to say-‘yes’ but’How’?

I asked her’Will you accept my advice’?

She politely said,YES.

I then called her husband who was sitting next room to my cabin.To my surprise,wife got up and offered her seat to her husband,since i had deliberately kept only one chair.This is what i wanted to see to take this matter to the next level.I again asked his wife-CAN YOU PLEASE SAY “I AM SORRY” TO YOUR HUSBAND?”

She took about 10 seconds to react but eventually said ‘I am sorry’ to her husband.Husband hugged her to reciprocate her gesture and she too hugged her husband with tears in her eyes but smile on her face.

They thanked me for bringing them together and left for their home.

MY MESSAGE TO YOU

Remember,change of heart do happen at an appropriate time.Sometime,a barrier is formed between a husband and wife and this needs to be broken with the right body language and by just genuinely saying-‘I AM SORRY’.This has a very very powerful impact.

I HAVE ONLY ONE ADVICE TO GIVE TO MARRIED COUPLES-“DO NOT EVER HURT YOUR MAN’s ‘EGO’ AND DO NOT HURT YOUR WIFE’S ‘SENTIMENT’.

YOUR HAPPY MARRIED LIFE IS SECURED -TRUST ME!!

GOOD LUCK FRIENDS!!